Things You Can’t do in Wisconsin

Last Saturday, the Hub-dubs, Yellow Dog, and I all piled into the car and embarked on an impromptu grand adventure to the heart of Wisconsin.

Actually, we had to go back there for a funeral.

But that didn’t stop us from making it an adventure!

Do you know how far it is from Gillette, WY to Milwaukee, WI? A long ways.  A looooooong ways.  About 1,000 miles.  All. on. one. road.

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See how that big blue line never really veers anywhere? And, in case you can’t see, the distance from A to B spans four states.

It was a long drive.

The three of us pulled into the lovely city of Milwaukee about 11:30pm on Saturday at my sister-in-law’s house, which is all street parking.  So, I pulled up to the curb, parked, unloaded the car, and basically passed out until the next morning.

I should mention that when I parked, I was facing the opposite direction of traffic (which I still think is no big deal).

The next morning, I came downstairs and my sister-in-law casually asked, “Did you take the car out this morning?”

“No.”

“So you’re telling me you parked like that? Like last night?”

“Yeah.”

“Seriously? WTH is wrong with you?”

Blank stare.  Blank stare.  Blank stare.

“What?”

It was then explained to me that I had lived in Wyoming too long and you can’t just park facing whichever way you please.

Well, you can in Wyoming–usually.  City ordinance states that “the left wheels cannot be next to the curb,” and the next point under parking information is, “Please do not put tree branches outside of the garbage roll-outs.”  No one follows these rules.  Want to know some other traffic rules Wyomingites don’t follow?

  • Slowing down for a yellow light
  • Stopping for a red light
  • Using a blinker or trailer lights
  • Parking on the street facing the opposite direction of traffic
  • Avoiding pedestrians and/or bicyclists on the road

You know, stuff like that.  You slip into the routine pretty easily.

Back to the story. It was cold in WI this weekend, dreadfully cold.  I decided to take the chance that in the short time between then and when I would move my car I would not get a ticket.  Then I asked the Hub-dubs very nicely to move the car.  You know, just in case.

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Oops.

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I was going to fight it, but then I saw this:

(a) Upon a street where traffic is permitted to move in both directions simultaneously and where angle parking is not clearly designated by official traffic signs or markers, a vehicle must be parked parallel to the edge of the street, headed in the direction of traffic on the right side of the street.

Well, that pretty much ruined my chances of fighting it, especially since this little, teeny, tiny quote was the first point under the section, “How to stop and park on streets.”

Thank God there’s a how-to guide for people like me.  The good news is, in the other 1500 miles of our trip, there wasn’t so much as a verbal warning for speeding (speed limit: another concept lost on us Wyoming folk).

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